Because not all gadgets are cool

OK, I’m pretty sure that we’ve visited houses where the host has a bunch of fruits on the table to your delight, only to tell you that these fruits are fake and made out of plastic, but they’re there just to brighten up the living room. Well, guess fruits aren’t the only fake thing around as you have the Inflatable Fruitcake to turn the tables on them the next time they visit your home.

It’s festive, it’s traditional and it’s inedible — just like the real thing. Each vinyl fruitcake comes deflated with a 9-1/2″ x 5-1/2″ envelope and a decorative sticker, making it easy to send one to all of your friends and family! When inflated, this icon of old-fashioned baked goods is 8-1/2″ x 5″ x 4-1/2″ and makes a great centerpiece for the holiday dinner table.

The Inflatable Fruitcake is a hoot at $6.95, making it one of the more fun and affordable holiday gift items this season.

Product Page via Book of Joe

The perfect gift for the ex-convict in your life.  Make sure they wake up every single morning wide awake and gripping their chest attempting to get their heart to slow down.  When this alarm goes off the blue light starts flashing and a siren wails all the while a cop is shouting.  The siren will keep going until you shut off the alarm.  It features a digital display and a five minute snooze.  Sadly too many people have decided that it was a good idea to purchase one of these and the site is all out.   They don’t list how much it was going for, but you can keep an eye out on Things You Never Knew Existed to see if they come back in stock in time for Christmas.

First of all, who even uses pencils that need sharpened?!  I mean really, the mechanical pencils are way cooler.  Then second of all, if you were going to buy a pencil sharpener for your horribly archaic pencils, wouldn’t you buy one that was far less horrifying and expensive?  I really hope that anyone that buys one of these does not have children, because those poor kids will be scarred for life after once glance at this “pig” as they call it.  You sharpen your pencil in the snout and of course the snout is removable so that you can clean out the shavings.  You can pick it up for $27.50 on Fitzsu.

I’ve seen similar versions of this type of thing before, however, I do believe this is the worst.  The combination of the square solar panel stuck at the very top of the hat and then the fan that is shoved through a hole in the cap makes this hat a whole new level of sad.  However, if you’re just dying to get your wife to stop making you go to some particular function outside then just embarrass her with this hat.  One of two things would happen, she’ll either burn the hat or just never ask you to go again.  Of course, I suppose there is the third option that it will put you in the doghouse.  If you’d like to give it a shot you can pick it up for $19.99 on Kotulas.

Want to show your spouse or boss just how much they’re stressing you out?  Well then put two of your fingers onto this oracle and it will display loud and clear just how stressed out you are.  Then of course you can give your coworkers a laugh and let them have a round on the little gadget.    The oracle has several different readings for it to choose from and takes two AAA batteries to keep it operating.  You can pick up the Oracle Stress-O-Meter for $14.99.

Or so that’s what the product claims - it is supposed to reduce the “appearance of lines and wrinkles”. How does it perform this miracle? Well, the Perfect Profile facial massager will use its micro-pulsating action that works out those flabby areas in your face for a more taut look without having to go through expensive procedures under the knife. I would believe that if it wasn’t priced at $14.98 - seriously, how much R&D was actually thrown into the Perfect Profile’s development? If you don’t want that nasty double chin and crow’s feet, live a happy life, eat well and get enough sleep and exercise.

Most people who have seen Lilo & Stitch in the cinemas (or home DVD for that matter) will love that cute little alien, so here’s a chance for you to bring him home in the form of a USB desktop humidifier. He sits down there without moving, with his really large mouth opening for steam to be released - hopefully Stitch did brush his teeth beforehand! Retailing for an insane $117.30, you can place your pre-order today with shipping to commence sometime in the middle of December. I think you can get a much more affordable humidifier at that price, can’t you?

I know all about sex drives, but a USB flash drive that comes in the form factor of a sperm? Now this is a total hoot by any means, and reflects the juvenile mind if you ever carry one (at least that’s the consensus most people will have about you). Well, can’t say that you haven’t been warned. I didn’t know that work could be that pleasurable…

Source: Gearfuse

There aren’t too many places where you can run away and hide for your own space and quiet time these days, but Yamaha has come up with the My Room II. This fully enclosed human-sized vault places you in a soundproof area, and it comes with basic creature comforts such as an air conditioner, reduced construction time (yes, you gotta assemble this yourself) and touch panel controls. Of course, it will retail for a whopping $6,500, so you might want to think twice about getting your own personal space when getting a hotel room is so much more convenient (and spacious).

Source: Born Rich